10 Keys To a Lasting Relationship
Show them your appreciation daily
It is easy to assume that our partner knows we love them, but it is still very important to show them. When someone knows they are being thought of or appreciated, it motivates them to do their part in strengthening the relationship. Showing your partner you care about them can be as simple as giving them a kiss, hug, or even a compliment.
Remember to give yourself breaks
As much as you love being with your significant other, it is important take a break and do something out of the ordinary. Have some friends over for a movie night or take a GNO! Taking a small break will keep both you and your partner feeling fresh and prevent the relationship from getting boring or routine.
Acknowledge and work on your conflicts together
When conflicts arise in a relationship, it is healthier to acknowledge them rather than running from or avoiding them. Ken Page, LCSW, a psychotherapist said, “If you both can name it and commit to working on it together as a couple. If you approach your ‘good conflicts’ with bitterness, blame, and contempt, your relationship will turn toxic.”
Find someone with similar values
It would be extremely difficult if you are in a marriage with someone who does not share the same morals and values as you. Sharing the same interests, hobbies, and pleasures as your partner will give both of you the happiness and satisfaction you need in a relationship. When both partners desire similar things in life, there is less compromise and accommodation to be made. Of course, in every relationship there must be some sacrifice, but it is much more manageable if you share the same values.
Try a more understanding approach
When an issue arises in a relationship, it is far more effective to take the situation with gentle approach, rather than resorting to blame or criticism. Often times, more unnecessary conflicts arise when partners are angry and impatient, whereas the problem could be solved much quicker if they are not driven by negative emotion.
Make sure your partner is happy too
It is just as happy to keep your partner happy as it is to keep yourself happy in a relationship. Make sure that you are not neglecting their needs or wants for your own. It would put a great strain on your relationship if your partner feels they are not getting as much out of it as they need to feel fulfilled. Jeremy Nicholson, Ph.D., psychologist and dating expert said “Loving relationships are a process by which we get our needs met and meet the needs of our partners too. When that exchange is mutually satisfying, then good feelings continue to flow. When it is not, then things turn sour, and the relationship ends.”
Maintain other friendships outside of the relationship
Do not limit your social circle to just you and your partner. It is important that when you give yourself breaks, you have other friends and family to spend your time with. It is very important to invest your time in other people so that in case the relationship were to end, you will have a group of friends that will be there to support you. Matt Lundquist advises us to, “Create relationships outside The Relationship, or The Relationship isn’t going to work anymore.”
Do not take your partner for granted
It is important to show gratitude for your partner to remind them that you see everything they do for you. If your partner feels that they are not getting the recognition and appreciation they deserve, they will want to turn away from the relationship and find it elsewhere.
Watch how you fight with them
Sean M. Horan, Ph.D., assistant professor of communication says “Researchers have found that four conflict messages are able to predict whether couples remain together or get divorced: contempt, criticism, stonewalling (or withdrawal), and defensiveness.” When communicating with your significant other, it is important to avoid these things and focus on being positive or creating a common ground with them.
Don’t forget to take care of yourself
Finally, you should make taking care of yourself a top priority. It would be hard to keep someone else happy in a relationship if you are not happy yourself. We must not abandon our own wants and needs to be in a relationship, because self-abandonment could ultimately lead to the end of that relationship.